Aoife Silk

"'My mum always said it was wrong to believe in monsters. She said monsters were just stories made up by people who couldn't control their kids any other way, and there weren't any really. Was she wrong?' Mediochre took a deep breath and tried to think of an honest answer to that. He sighed quietly and put his arm around the little girl.""'To tell you the truth, I think she was.'""-- Aoife asks Mediochre about monsters (Book 3, Caught Mediochre-Handed)."Aoife Silk is the adopted daughter of Mediochre Q. Seth. She is first mentioned in Caught Mediochre-Handed when she calls a Mantically Aware helpline that Mediochre volunteers for. When it becomes apparent that she's being abused by one (or both) of her parents, Mediochre takes Joseph to find and rescue her. Later, arrangements are made so that she can become Mediochre's legal ward (although, Mediochre did have to blackmail the Prime Minister in the process).

Traits
Aiofe has brown hair and is eight years old when she first appears in Book 3. She isn't very girly, but she still wears pink because she knows it annoys Mediochre, her adopted father.

Caught Mediochre-Handed
At the start of Caught Mediochre-Handed, Aiofe has already been calling the Good Listeners helpline, a charity that Mediochre volunteers at, for just over a month. When it becomes clear that she has been badly mistreated by her mother, Mediochre secretly uses Chips to trace the call to her house. He then takes Joseph to the house and they kidnap her. It is implied that Queen MAB arranged for Aoife's calls to be directed to Mediochre specifically, with the hopes that he would step outside the law to protect her.

Later, Charlotte finds Aoife living with Mediochre, and on questioning the little girl gets told that Mediochre is looking after her because her parents got arrested. It transpires that Mediochre has taken advantage of the inefficiency of Maccabeus Fervour's government to fake documents stating that he is Aoife's next of kin.

Aoife is then used as a pawn in Queen MAB's plan to get Fervour thrown out of office. Queen MAB arranges for Tanner to tell Fervour about Mediochre's abduction of Aoife, prompting Fervour to go after them and Mediochre to turn on Fervour.

Fervour sends a couple of MIPF officers to take Mediochre and Aoife into custody. One of the officers lets slip that Aoife's parents have been released on Fervour's orders, which means that should Mediochre be found guilty, Aoife would be returned to the abusive household. Mediochre therefore takes out both MIPF officers and conceals Aoife inside his home.

Aoife later learns of the destruction of the Stygian Secure Unit and the escape of its inmates by watching the news and Mediochre tries his best to reassure her about it. She asks Mediochre if monsters are real, and although he confirms that they are, he tells her she doesn't need to worry since there aren't enough monsters to outnumber the one Mediochre Q. Seth. She asks whether fighting so many monsters means he risks becoming one himself, apparently having heard the Nietzsche quote out of context, but Mediochre brushes this off.

Aoife is left in the care of Archie, while Mediochre deals with Fervour and the Stig Unit Escapees, but Aoife gets kidnapped by the Scissorman while Archie is distracted fending off Thunderbolt Charlie. After Mediochre tracks down the Scissorman and rescues a traumatised Aoife, he takes her to Barbarossa Kennedy McCullock, whom he blackmails into wiping her memory. Which will definitely have no consequences whatsoever.

After Professor God brings Joseph, Dhampinella and a whole building full of other people back into reality, a noticeably cheery and non-traumatised Aoife is seen with Mediochre in the crowd. Aoife also accompanies Mediochre and Joseph to the hospital to see Charlotte after Springheel Jack's attack, where she plays with Desra in the corridor. She also accompanies Mediochre to the meeting with Chrome's team, who are trying to track down the remaining Floor Theta escapees. She gets on Chrome's nerves by playing with the maps.

At Joseph's suggestion, Maisie then babysits Aoife so Mediochre can chase after the Pied Piper. Aoife returns to Mediochre's care after most of the Floor Theta escapees have been dealt with, and Mediochre's lawyer, Beth Diamond, manages to get a retraining order placed on both of Aoife's parents. When Mediochre then leaves to capture Valentine, Aoife is left in the care of Mediochre's caretaker, who is charging extra for babysitting duties.

Once Queen MAB is officially restored to her Prime Minister position, Mediochre confronts her about her manipulations surrounding Aoife, and blackmails her into pulling strings that allow Mediochre to officially adopt the child. Which Queen MAB agrees to do, but also threatens to have Mediochre arrested and imprisoned in his own Floor Theta prison if she ever suspects Aoife's welfare is in danger.

Aoife is last seen in this book happily adopted, playing with Tsukiko Shinju while Mediochre is helping rebuild the Edinburgh Dusk.

Trivia

 * Aoife is named after a girl the author mentored at his high school.